This may be my most personal one yet, so get ready for it!
Remember when we were little, and we watched hundreds of Disney movies that ended with the happy ending? Walt Disney I am going to get you someday for distorting the true image of the real world! I firsthand learned that life is not as perfect as these movies portrayed. I blame Disney for me being a overly hopeless romantic. But I'm not mad, I still in the back of my mind know that their is someone out there perfect for me!
I grew up with this big personality, my Grandma had it, my mom has it, and it got passed to me. My brother doesn't have it or my sister, I always joke that it got stored in my mom and when she had me it finally went somewhere, because I am over the top giddy about everything. I wouldn't trade it for the world, people thought in high school it was annoying, I was just fake about it, whatever other judgment they could pass on me. But its really how I am, who wants to go through life with a frown on their face? WHO! Not me that is for dang sure! I mean look at the world around you people, don't just take it for granted. Look at what it was before we ruined it, its still amazing! Even in little ole Columbus, where all you see is cars, highways, and a lot of people. Just like my post before God didn't just make this world and go oh yep I am going to put a tree here, he made different types, sizes, colors, flowers on trees, fruits.. like what the heck! How can you not realize little things like that. I sound like a sappy movie, or I am crazy because I can sit back and truly look at this place and think wow this man really does love us that much because he put so much work into making every little detail perfect.
I USED, keyword USED to have a huge list of things that I wanted in a boyfriend, its so embarrassing and selfish but here it is:
My biggest pet peeve.. height. It got to the point where I had an actual number attached to it.. at least 6 feet.
(I have legit reasoning for these too, but will not go in depth.)
TEETH, oh teeth. I am bias because I had braces.
Hair, it had to be brown. But I had a couple exceptions to that rule. Eek.
They had to like sports, and be athletic. Come on.. I was a cheerleader, QB/Cheerleader thing I know.. so DUMB.
Notice these are all observable traits?
Family, oh my gosh if you don't love your family you couldn't love me.
There are so many other things on it that are to ridiculous to post so I shall refrain.
But wait, can any of you guess what is missing.. why in the world I would miss something so important?
Have a relationship with God.
What? How could I do that, I was so wrapped up in this fairy tale, so called perfect guy notion that I never thought to even look to God.
Even though I said in my last blog how shocked I was to look back on how I was living, I am still finding things that I am disgusted by. I won't have this perfect man forever, I watch sermons from Francis Chan about once a week.. sometimes twice. This man opens up a new door every time I watch him its incredible. But any how, he has a two part Christ Centered Relationship sermon which I never thought in this way before. He states that you should be so wrapped up in God's love that you love God more than your wife/husband. We say I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, but the truth is this life is SO short compared to the one that is waiting for us after it. So, why in the world would you want just this perfect "looking" man that doesn't live for God. Some one who doesn't help you grow with God, learn about God, challenge you about God.
You know, moving to Columbus was probably the best decision I have ever made in my life. I had a horrible experience in my 1st year here, and all I could do was go to God. That first month here in Columbus changed my perspective, I started to see him working in my life bringing people into my life that will probably forever be my best friends. I would sit in my room daily and pray that he would spark something in my heart, and he did. I can tell you one thing, I feel like I was put here to make people smile to make people think there is more to life that just school, work, bills. That you can always make something bad, something good. I've had tons of people ask me why I am so happy all the time, like I don't have a care in the world. My response? Why not? How can you not rejoice everyday, tomorrow is never a promise. So, be thankful God has given you another day to live on this Earth, to spread his word and hope that you can help someone else find happiness in their life too!
Man do I just jumble on about everything, I have all these things to write about but I keep forgetting all of them! (ADHD onset) haha
For all of you people who ask me how I can be so happy all by myself, I would be lying if I said I like being single. It would be a terrible terrible lie. I am always thinking that question to myself, why can't I find someone who actually likes me for me? Not what I look like or what I have. Someone who gets just as giddy around me as I will get around him! Some one that stops and looks at details of things. Smiles when they pass something sweet, like a Father holding their little daughter's hand. (I say this because I did this the other day, it was the OSU/Wisconsin game and they were walking towards the shoe and she looked up to him and he looked back and they both had the biggest smile on their face, that stuff melts my heart!) SOPPY.. any who don't fret ladies or gentlemen reading my blog. Someone is out there for you, I believe it with all my heart, and pray to God with all my heart that I will finally find someone who will make my life so special! =)
I know I write with my heart on my sleeve, but I do so to help others out. If you want to ask me anything please do! Message me on Facebook, get my number some how. Whatever it takes, add me on Skype! ha ha! I would love to encourage you to seek out God, truly seek him. I have friends that can share, I am still learning and I am sure will be for awhile. It has more than changed my life. Made this life bearable knowing he is always right there with me!
Well on to some updates! A handful of you already know, but I decided that I am done with my experience here in Columbus. I plan on moving back to Lima, who would of ever thought I would be saying I am moving back there. I despised that place more then anything, probably because of the rough times I had in high school and being made fun of and all that fun stuff that comes along with the teen years. But, I've prayed and prayed on what I should do, because I am not happy here. I love my roommates so much, but the city I feel is holding me back. My Grandma's death was a huge factor in my decision, I have been feeling this huge sense of guilt since she passed. I only got to see her once every time I would come home, I would sometimes randomly call her just to see how she was doing. I can't bear to not spend time with my family and see them pass on. Also, my nephews and niece. They are growing up so much, and I want to be there for everything they do. My new nephew was 6 days old before I could even hold him for the 1st time. I've always been very close to my family, but I am home sick every single day. I also have this feeling in my heart, that there is something big in Lima that I could get involved with, I have no idea what it is, its just a weird feeling like I need to go back and figure out what it is. Any who, there are my little updates!
My blogs are so random and spur of the moment. But I just write what is on my mind, I don't plan these out! I don't even proof read these! I sometimes forget what I even say in them! So don't hate on me if the grammar and punctuation is awful! Sorry Mrs. Bradley if I am letting you down! ha ha!
I hope you all have a wonderful night, and wonderful weekend!
Happily ever after,
Andrea Farell :)
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Love is patient.. love is kind.
Holy Moley! There are so many things to talk about on this blog so be ready for a long one!
Most of you who read my blog know I have had an extremely difficult time with the passing of my Grandmother. I still think about her everyday, and never do I not tear up. I miss her goofiness, her piano playing skills, and her giving me advice on relationships. You honestly do not know what you have until you've lost it. But I am so grateful to have been given the time to get to know her, especially into early adulthood. She has instilled in me life lessons that I will take on later in life and glad I got to hear some right before she passed. I have done a lot of thinking after she passed away, it really makes you reevaluate your life. We never thought she would have died this soon even though she was 77, she had so much life in her yet. She finds out she has a brain tumor and exactly 5 weeks later she is gone. What I am getting at is that tomorrow is never promised to you, we don't deserve it. We should be thanking the Lord everyday that we get another day in life.
I am reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and I cannot begin to tell you how more of a perfect time it is to be reading it. My grandma has met the Lord! How awesome is that? As soon as she took her last breath she got to see God sitting in his throne with a million angels around him, what a thrilling feeling that must had been. You ever think about what you are going to feel like when you finally get to meet him? I will be absolutely speechless. Think of the power he has, he created everything we have ever came in contact with.
Here is a video that Francis has put up on his website about the Awe factor of God:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpChZxPfa-c
Makes you think, huh?
We are little specs! Yet he still has this overpowering love for us!
What this book has done for me so far is make me step back and look at my present relationship with the Lord is, and boy was it shocking. Yes, I claim to be a Christian, I pray every night, I read as much scripture as I can, and do nice things for others. But then I thought to myself, do I go through everyday, every motion, every thought honoring the Lord. My honest answer was no. He says in the book that there are so many lukewarm Christians out there, that they do the bare minimum just to get into heaven. I honestly looked at myself and felt sick, how could I be just doing the bare minimum for someone so awesome. He sent his son down here on Earth and died in the most excruciating pain for US, for OUR sins. How can I not give everything I have to the man who has done everything for me. God does not want us to just go to church, give 10%, smack each others hands if we swear. He wants it all, he wants an overabundant love from us. This week I have lived a life in a new perspective, I cannot tell you how much weight has lifted off of my shoulders. He had a good idea to prove if you were a lukewarm christian or not:
Most of you who read my blog know I have had an extremely difficult time with the passing of my Grandmother. I still think about her everyday, and never do I not tear up. I miss her goofiness, her piano playing skills, and her giving me advice on relationships. You honestly do not know what you have until you've lost it. But I am so grateful to have been given the time to get to know her, especially into early adulthood. She has instilled in me life lessons that I will take on later in life and glad I got to hear some right before she passed. I have done a lot of thinking after she passed away, it really makes you reevaluate your life. We never thought she would have died this soon even though she was 77, she had so much life in her yet. She finds out she has a brain tumor and exactly 5 weeks later she is gone. What I am getting at is that tomorrow is never promised to you, we don't deserve it. We should be thanking the Lord everyday that we get another day in life.
I am reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and I cannot begin to tell you how more of a perfect time it is to be reading it. My grandma has met the Lord! How awesome is that? As soon as she took her last breath she got to see God sitting in his throne with a million angels around him, what a thrilling feeling that must had been. You ever think about what you are going to feel like when you finally get to meet him? I will be absolutely speechless. Think of the power he has, he created everything we have ever came in contact with.
Here is a video that Francis has put up on his website about the Awe factor of God:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpChZxPfa-c
Makes you think, huh?
We are little specs! Yet he still has this overpowering love for us!
What this book has done for me so far is make me step back and look at my present relationship with the Lord is, and boy was it shocking. Yes, I claim to be a Christian, I pray every night, I read as much scripture as I can, and do nice things for others. But then I thought to myself, do I go through everyday, every motion, every thought honoring the Lord. My honest answer was no. He says in the book that there are so many lukewarm Christians out there, that they do the bare minimum just to get into heaven. I honestly looked at myself and felt sick, how could I be just doing the bare minimum for someone so awesome. He sent his son down here on Earth and died in the most excruciating pain for US, for OUR sins. How can I not give everything I have to the man who has done everything for me. God does not want us to just go to church, give 10%, smack each others hands if we swear. He wants it all, he wants an overabundant love from us. This week I have lived a life in a new perspective, I cannot tell you how much weight has lifted off of my shoulders. He had a good idea to prove if you were a lukewarm christian or not:
Look at 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doings, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends..faith, hope, and love abide, these three, but the greatest of all is love.
Now replace the word love with your name, do you fit all of this? Most of you will say no, I did. What I have learned is that God will always have this amazing love for us, its never ending. So how in the world can you put such an awesome thing to the side. Why make excuses like, "Oh I was busy doing homework, paying bills, watching a movie," to spend just a moment with God? What in the world was I thinking not investing everything I have in God. Once you get to meet the Lord he won't let you slide past because you were so busy with life. I look at this life now as just way to pass our time until we get to be with our Father, and during this time you better believe I am going to do what the word says!
Please get your hands on a copy of this book:
It's already changed the way I live my life, and I am only half way through the book!
Francis Chan is amazing on describing Christian life, and proves it through scripture!
Watch this video to, if you read the book he has you stop reading and watch this video. This is the video where it made me realize I was doing everything wrong!
LOVE THIS!
Also, look up his sermons he is so good!
Look at these things God has made, see how detailed he has been with everything he deserves way more than just the bare minimum!
Hope you all enjoyed this blog, I know my writing is really scattered but I do it all in one take!
God Bless!
<3 Andrea Farell
PS! I am on the fundraising committee for the Ohio State University Relay for Life, and a Team Leader to the Buffalo Wild Wings Lane & High team, I'll post a link below, anything helps! I am relaying in honor for my Grandma Irene hopefully in June at the one in Lima if you are interested in joining my team there let me know we can set one up through Lima's relay!
The Ohio State University Relay For Life Link:
https://secure3.convio.net/tacs/site/Donation2?idb=154184174&df_id=1009554&FR_ID=40194&PROXY_ID=20972279&PROXY_TYPE=20&1009554.donation=form1
Please donate to such a great organization! Let me know if you want to attend I would love to have you there with me!
PS! I am on the fundraising committee for the Ohio State University Relay for Life, and a Team Leader to the Buffalo Wild Wings Lane & High team, I'll post a link below, anything helps! I am relaying in honor for my Grandma Irene hopefully in June at the one in Lima if you are interested in joining my team there let me know we can set one up through Lima's relay!
The Ohio State University Relay For Life Link:
https://secure3.convio.net/tacs/site/Donation2?idb=154184174&df_id=1009554&FR_ID=40194&PROXY_ID=20972279&PROXY_TYPE=20&1009554.donation=form1
Please donate to such a great organization! Let me know if you want to attend I would love to have you there with me!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Life still goes on.. :)
Sorry it's been so long since I have written anything.. a lot has been going on within the past two months.
I am finally settled into my apartment and I love it.. my room is so much bigger and I updated it just a tad bit. The apartment feels clean, and I love my roommates! =) My job is going great as always, even though sometimes I can hate it! But who doesn't get stressed out a little bit! I love all the new people there! It's a whole new generation of people asking me why I am always so happy and dancing everywhere. I love the effect I have on people when I am making a fool out of myself, anything for a smile :)
I wouldn't be this smiley right now if all of you who wrote nice comments on Facebook, or texted me about my loss of my Grandma. Just a small message of encouragement goes a LONG way. She wouldn't want me to be sad anyhow! Oh how I think about her everyday.. multiple times a day. I'll hear a song on a commercial that she used to play on the piano or from an olden movie that her and I would sing. I'll be pouring a coke at work, and remember how her house is decked out in Coca-Cola memorabilia. The hardest thing is coming into my room.. and seeing all the old Hollywood photos I have throughout my room and each one of them representing a person I fell in love with because of her. I made a picture of her and I.. cropped it and made it bigger and black and white to add to black and white pictures I have in my room. I love it =) I have one of my Grandpa too I made for his birthday last year and made a double of for him and I. =)
It still doesn't seem real, and I think for awhile it will feel like that. It's hard to process that when I drive to her house to visit my Grandpa, she won't be sitting in her recliner watching TV or playing her piano. I won't ever get to sit next to her and sing a song while she plays the piano. I won't get to watch Singin' in the rain with her like we used to about once a week when I would stay with her. I will never get to see her smile when I eventually walk down the isle.. or when I have children they won't ever get to sit on Mamal GiGi's lap. My heart has a huge hole in it, and you can never prepare yourself for it. The moment when she took her last breath with everyone sitting by her side is an indescribable feeling. I've never had anyone that close to me pass away.. and never would I of guessed she would be my 1st. I always thought it would be my Grandpa, if any of you who know him you would of thought the exact same thing. My Grandma had too much life in her.. but dang it that brain tumor got her fast. I am blessed to have spent 20 years of my life with her, I learned so much from her. Even though she could be a brat, she was such a great advocate to our Savior. She taught my mother so many lessons that were passed on to me. To give to others, to be goofy in bad situations, to help someone in need. I could never thank my Grandma enough for the things she has given me.. I would never be in college right now without her.. she would give her last piece of clothing if it meant giving me the chance to make a future for myself.
My favorite memory is when I was 8 years old, and I remember this ever so vividly. I was sitting next to her while playing her organ. I noticed a ring on her finger.. a tear drop shaped diamond with a golden band. I told her "Grandma, where did you get that ring? It's so pretty." She explained it had been her mother's who had passed away just a year before that day. She looked at me with a smile and said.. you know someday when you grow up.. I want to see this on your left hand. I want to see this on your left hand, and the person who puts it on your left hand will love you more than anything in the world. I've always admired that ring.. she wore it almost everyday. She passed away with that ring on.. and even though it caused a quarrel in the family with a big misunderstanding.. my mother now has that ring. Someday, when that someone special asks my Dad (yes I am old fashioned hehe) for my hand in marriage, I am going to honor my Grandma and Great Grandma and wear that ring on my left hand proudly. :)
I found a quote a few days after she passed away..
Seasons change, friends move away, and life goes on from day to day. Flowers fade and streams go dry and many times we wonder why. Yet we can always be assured because God tells us in his word that, unlike changes in the weather, life goes on and lasts forever. ♥
How true is that.. we question everyday why things are taken away from us.. why we hurt, why we are here..
My mother tells me all the time, to always remember we are only visitors to this Earth. We live here to be advocates of God and to live by his word until we can finally be in the place he has made for us. I learned so much from my Grandma Irene about God. Right up until her death, I talked to her on the phone just a week before she passed. She told me not to be afraid, to know she will always be by my side and that I will get to see her again someday soon. That she will be waiting for me with her arms opened wide and how excited she will be to tell me how proud she was of me. I can't wait till that day.. but until then I will constantly make her proud.
I miss you so much Grandma Irene, I can never say that enough. I can't wait to see you soon. I know you are up there dancing with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor, I am jealous! Tell Grandpa Ronnie that I can't wait to finally meet my mom's real father! I heard he was good looking and I have his personality :) I love you so much! =)
I am finally settled into my apartment and I love it.. my room is so much bigger and I updated it just a tad bit. The apartment feels clean, and I love my roommates! =) My job is going great as always, even though sometimes I can hate it! But who doesn't get stressed out a little bit! I love all the new people there! It's a whole new generation of people asking me why I am always so happy and dancing everywhere. I love the effect I have on people when I am making a fool out of myself, anything for a smile :)
I wouldn't be this smiley right now if all of you who wrote nice comments on Facebook, or texted me about my loss of my Grandma. Just a small message of encouragement goes a LONG way. She wouldn't want me to be sad anyhow! Oh how I think about her everyday.. multiple times a day. I'll hear a song on a commercial that she used to play on the piano or from an olden movie that her and I would sing. I'll be pouring a coke at work, and remember how her house is decked out in Coca-Cola memorabilia. The hardest thing is coming into my room.. and seeing all the old Hollywood photos I have throughout my room and each one of them representing a person I fell in love with because of her. I made a picture of her and I.. cropped it and made it bigger and black and white to add to black and white pictures I have in my room. I love it =) I have one of my Grandpa too I made for his birthday last year and made a double of for him and I. =)
It still doesn't seem real, and I think for awhile it will feel like that. It's hard to process that when I drive to her house to visit my Grandpa, she won't be sitting in her recliner watching TV or playing her piano. I won't ever get to sit next to her and sing a song while she plays the piano. I won't get to watch Singin' in the rain with her like we used to about once a week when I would stay with her. I will never get to see her smile when I eventually walk down the isle.. or when I have children they won't ever get to sit on Mamal GiGi's lap. My heart has a huge hole in it, and you can never prepare yourself for it. The moment when she took her last breath with everyone sitting by her side is an indescribable feeling. I've never had anyone that close to me pass away.. and never would I of guessed she would be my 1st. I always thought it would be my Grandpa, if any of you who know him you would of thought the exact same thing. My Grandma had too much life in her.. but dang it that brain tumor got her fast. I am blessed to have spent 20 years of my life with her, I learned so much from her. Even though she could be a brat, she was such a great advocate to our Savior. She taught my mother so many lessons that were passed on to me. To give to others, to be goofy in bad situations, to help someone in need. I could never thank my Grandma enough for the things she has given me.. I would never be in college right now without her.. she would give her last piece of clothing if it meant giving me the chance to make a future for myself.
My favorite memory is when I was 8 years old, and I remember this ever so vividly. I was sitting next to her while playing her organ. I noticed a ring on her finger.. a tear drop shaped diamond with a golden band. I told her "Grandma, where did you get that ring? It's so pretty." She explained it had been her mother's who had passed away just a year before that day. She looked at me with a smile and said.. you know someday when you grow up.. I want to see this on your left hand. I want to see this on your left hand, and the person who puts it on your left hand will love you more than anything in the world. I've always admired that ring.. she wore it almost everyday. She passed away with that ring on.. and even though it caused a quarrel in the family with a big misunderstanding.. my mother now has that ring. Someday, when that someone special asks my Dad (yes I am old fashioned hehe) for my hand in marriage, I am going to honor my Grandma and Great Grandma and wear that ring on my left hand proudly. :)
I found a quote a few days after she passed away..
Seasons change, friends move away, and life goes on from day to day. Flowers fade and streams go dry and many times we wonder why. Yet we can always be assured because God tells us in his word that, unlike changes in the weather, life goes on and lasts forever. ♥
How true is that.. we question everyday why things are taken away from us.. why we hurt, why we are here..
My mother tells me all the time, to always remember we are only visitors to this Earth. We live here to be advocates of God and to live by his word until we can finally be in the place he has made for us. I learned so much from my Grandma Irene about God. Right up until her death, I talked to her on the phone just a week before she passed. She told me not to be afraid, to know she will always be by my side and that I will get to see her again someday soon. That she will be waiting for me with her arms opened wide and how excited she will be to tell me how proud she was of me. I can't wait till that day.. but until then I will constantly make her proud.
I miss you so much Grandma Irene, I can never say that enough. I can't wait to see you soon. I know you are up there dancing with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor, I am jealous! Tell Grandpa Ronnie that I can't wait to finally meet my mom's real father! I heard he was good looking and I have his personality :) I love you so much! =)
Sunday, August 14, 2011
♥
I've been wanting to write a blog for weeks now.. I've been putting it off because there is just so much I can put into this one blog, and I was trying to figure out the way I was going to put it all together. I still haven't figured it out.. so here goes nothing.
This summer has been wonderful and devastating.. I love where my life is going and where I am headed. The summer camp I've been working at has been almost life changing, I have met amazing people there coworkers and campers. I have now figured out I am exactly where I need to be. I love that I have come to realize that you really can change a person's life with just a smile and a hug. This camp couldn't have been in my life in more a perfect time. I needed it to keep my spirits up as well....
After working 2 weeks at camp, I went back to my apartment in Columbus and literally passed out.. I had went to Cincinnati to my 1st Reds game right after camp, AMAZING game to say the least, with great friends. =) I drove home and passed out.. I had only gotten 5 hours of sleep the night before and drove from columbus to Cincinnati with no nap! Very long day.. I woke 7 hours later and had this weird feeling that I needed to call my mom.. I usually call her everyday when I wake up, but something was telling me to call her urgently. I called her and we talked about the usual.. what she had done all week while I was at camp and all that jazz.. and then suddenly she stopped asking questions and sighed.. and she started off saying well I have to tell you something and I've been keeping it off for a couple days because you were at camp and you went to that game with your friends and I didn't want to upset you.. and all of these thoughts flooded my mind, and I was stricken with panic. 1st thing that came to mind was her saying that my grandpa had passed away, because his health hasn't been the best. But she started off the sentence with my Grandma Irene, and I was so confused. She said a bunch of stuff that I didn't really listen to because there were so many things racing through my brain at the moment. The only sentence I heard from it was that they did a cat scan on her brain and found a tumor. I became more distraught, and then she said the doctor told my grandma with the size and location of the tumor she may only live up to two months. I felt like my body couldn't move and anything else that my mom had said over the phone didn't register in my brain. I was shocked.. and tears didn't come to my eyes because I didn't get it, I had just been with my Grandma the week before this news and watched her laugh and actually get in her car and drive off to run errands, which she was excited for because she finally got her license back after been restricted for her to drive because of her legs. My heart instantly broke, after my mom continued to tell me that her speech was impaired and her memory was short. It just didn't seem fair to me, that it was happening so fast. She warned me not to be shocked when I called her.. she understands everything were saying but to be aware some of her speech would not be understandable. This all seems like it was a long conversation but it was a 5 minute phone call and I had to hang up with my mom immediately.. I hate showing sad emotions to others.. she asked if I was okay, and I said "Yep, but I am going to go." I think she understood why, and let me hang up. I sat in my bed dumbfounded and was trying to let everything process until I finally let realization get the best of me. All of these memories flooded my thoughts, and as I sit in a room decorated in old hollywood, which I fell in love with when I was younger because of her. I thought about how I stayed the night with her almost every week night, when I was younger, because my mom went into work early and she babysat me. How I would sit next to her as she played the piano and would teach me one certain chord that I would play as she played the rest so we could play the song together. How we always seemed to end up watching Singin' in the rain (All time favorite musical) and laugh every time we watched the scene with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor singing "Make em laugh", and how we would sing and dance to every song they sang. She still sometimes answers the phone and starts singing "Good morning, good morning" and I sing along with her =) .. How her and my great uncle took me out to eat every Tuesday at the old corner cafe, and I would get a salad with poppy seed dressing, and spaghetti with one big meat ball! How she taught me how to put blush on with your lipstick so it would stay on longer. How we talked about what my wedding would be like someday, and I really do remember a certain conversation we had.. she talked about how she would help decorate it because she is an amazing artist.. and how she could see me in a fancy lace dress like the old fashion actresses would wear.. how she hoped that God would bless me with someone amazing and how she hoped he will make me smile everyday. That's what breaks my heart the most.. she has seen my brother get married. been a part of it, helped decorate it. She's gotten to meet my sisters boyfriend.. she has gotten to experience the love of two grandchildren from my brother and sister. But from me.. she won't get to be a part of any of it. I've never brought a guy over to meet my grandparents, they've never seen me care for a guy. She won't get to be there when I get to walk down the isle, she won't get to experience my children.. she won't get to watch me walk and receive my degree. Yes I know, she will watch from Heaven.. but its still heart breaking.. and as I sit here with tears streaming down my face.. I am still in disbelief. My 1st prayer to God was to make sure she didn't feel any pain, and for me to get to talk to her before her speech completely vanish. I finally got a hold of her the next day after my mom told me the news. She was right, her speech was completely mumbled. The 1st sentence she said instantly brought tears to my eyes.. the realization set in.. I sat and listened as I helped in gasps of air holding back tears. She asked me a question and I could barely answer.. I could only speak to her for 3 minutes. She started crying, and saying that she has been pleading to God that let her live to see the new grandchildren be born.. just a few more months is all she wanted. After that I told her I had to go, I felt so bad.. But I didn't want her to know I was devastated. Her last question on the phone was will you say a prayer for me, and I answered.. I already have been.. and she cried again and said Oh Andrea, I love you. I said I love you back with a very shaky voice. I told her I was going to come visit her as soon as I could, and she said I'll be here with a little spirit in her voice. I hung up the phone and tears raced down my face and my head fell to my hands. I finally believed it.. I finally understood I was going to lose my grandmother in just a short period of time. I took 2 weeks off of camp, and everyone was so supportive. LOVE everyone there. I finished out the week because they had already assigned me campers and I couldn't do that to them. So 2 days after hearing the news I worked an entire week of camp.. had the sweetest campers and that helped me forget about the heartbreak I was experiencing.. little did I know I was going to get the best gift from God! I went home and went straight to my grandma's and my mom met me at the door and told me that Grandma had been given steroids so her speech was completely back. God answered my prayer, as I walked into my grandmas house she was sitting at her piano playing a cheery tune. I had a huge smile on my face, as I still held back my tears. She turned around and gave me the biggest grin! She goes well hello! I am feeling so good today! It's been many years since I have seen her this giddy! Sadly, it took her having a brain tumor to get her back up there, but I will take it I suppose. We went back for a 2nd opinion and she decided to get a biopsy done.. and then the doctor gave her the decision between hospice care taking over now and or trying chemo and radiation. She picked chemo.. She really wants to see these little boys! Which I am exuberant about because I want her to see them more than anything! She may be sick and miserable by the time they are born but at least she will be able to see there little faces. I pray everyday and night for her.. and I have prayed for myself.. and its worked. I asked God to help me understand it all and accept it and live on. I have come to terms with eventually having to say goodbye to her, and to be happy with her until the very end. Life on earth eventually comes to and end, and I can't be upset because we really do go to a much more amazing place. I can't wait to meet her up there some day and talk about my life after her death. My wedding, my children, my husband, my career, what goals I reached in life. I trust God, and know things happen for a reason and that he is going to take such good care of her until I meet her again. But for now I am going to enjoy her and make her proud of me. I love my Grandma Irene. =)
This summer has been wonderful and devastating.. I love where my life is going and where I am headed. The summer camp I've been working at has been almost life changing, I have met amazing people there coworkers and campers. I have now figured out I am exactly where I need to be. I love that I have come to realize that you really can change a person's life with just a smile and a hug. This camp couldn't have been in my life in more a perfect time. I needed it to keep my spirits up as well....
After working 2 weeks at camp, I went back to my apartment in Columbus and literally passed out.. I had went to Cincinnati to my 1st Reds game right after camp, AMAZING game to say the least, with great friends. =) I drove home and passed out.. I had only gotten 5 hours of sleep the night before and drove from columbus to Cincinnati with no nap! Very long day.. I woke 7 hours later and had this weird feeling that I needed to call my mom.. I usually call her everyday when I wake up, but something was telling me to call her urgently. I called her and we talked about the usual.. what she had done all week while I was at camp and all that jazz.. and then suddenly she stopped asking questions and sighed.. and she started off saying well I have to tell you something and I've been keeping it off for a couple days because you were at camp and you went to that game with your friends and I didn't want to upset you.. and all of these thoughts flooded my mind, and I was stricken with panic. 1st thing that came to mind was her saying that my grandpa had passed away, because his health hasn't been the best. But she started off the sentence with my Grandma Irene, and I was so confused. She said a bunch of stuff that I didn't really listen to because there were so many things racing through my brain at the moment. The only sentence I heard from it was that they did a cat scan on her brain and found a tumor. I became more distraught, and then she said the doctor told my grandma with the size and location of the tumor she may only live up to two months. I felt like my body couldn't move and anything else that my mom had said over the phone didn't register in my brain. I was shocked.. and tears didn't come to my eyes because I didn't get it, I had just been with my Grandma the week before this news and watched her laugh and actually get in her car and drive off to run errands, which she was excited for because she finally got her license back after been restricted for her to drive because of her legs. My heart instantly broke, after my mom continued to tell me that her speech was impaired and her memory was short. It just didn't seem fair to me, that it was happening so fast. She warned me not to be shocked when I called her.. she understands everything were saying but to be aware some of her speech would not be understandable. This all seems like it was a long conversation but it was a 5 minute phone call and I had to hang up with my mom immediately.. I hate showing sad emotions to others.. she asked if I was okay, and I said "Yep, but I am going to go." I think she understood why, and let me hang up. I sat in my bed dumbfounded and was trying to let everything process until I finally let realization get the best of me. All of these memories flooded my thoughts, and as I sit in a room decorated in old hollywood, which I fell in love with when I was younger because of her. I thought about how I stayed the night with her almost every week night, when I was younger, because my mom went into work early and she babysat me. How I would sit next to her as she played the piano and would teach me one certain chord that I would play as she played the rest so we could play the song together. How we always seemed to end up watching Singin' in the rain (All time favorite musical) and laugh every time we watched the scene with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor singing "Make em laugh", and how we would sing and dance to every song they sang. She still sometimes answers the phone and starts singing "Good morning, good morning" and I sing along with her =) .. How her and my great uncle took me out to eat every Tuesday at the old corner cafe, and I would get a salad with poppy seed dressing, and spaghetti with one big meat ball! How she taught me how to put blush on with your lipstick so it would stay on longer. How we talked about what my wedding would be like someday, and I really do remember a certain conversation we had.. she talked about how she would help decorate it because she is an amazing artist.. and how she could see me in a fancy lace dress like the old fashion actresses would wear.. how she hoped that God would bless me with someone amazing and how she hoped he will make me smile everyday. That's what breaks my heart the most.. she has seen my brother get married. been a part of it, helped decorate it. She's gotten to meet my sisters boyfriend.. she has gotten to experience the love of two grandchildren from my brother and sister. But from me.. she won't get to be a part of any of it. I've never brought a guy over to meet my grandparents, they've never seen me care for a guy. She won't get to be there when I get to walk down the isle, she won't get to experience my children.. she won't get to watch me walk and receive my degree. Yes I know, she will watch from Heaven.. but its still heart breaking.. and as I sit here with tears streaming down my face.. I am still in disbelief. My 1st prayer to God was to make sure she didn't feel any pain, and for me to get to talk to her before her speech completely vanish. I finally got a hold of her the next day after my mom told me the news. She was right, her speech was completely mumbled. The 1st sentence she said instantly brought tears to my eyes.. the realization set in.. I sat and listened as I helped in gasps of air holding back tears. She asked me a question and I could barely answer.. I could only speak to her for 3 minutes. She started crying, and saying that she has been pleading to God that let her live to see the new grandchildren be born.. just a few more months is all she wanted. After that I told her I had to go, I felt so bad.. But I didn't want her to know I was devastated. Her last question on the phone was will you say a prayer for me, and I answered.. I already have been.. and she cried again and said Oh Andrea, I love you. I said I love you back with a very shaky voice. I told her I was going to come visit her as soon as I could, and she said I'll be here with a little spirit in her voice. I hung up the phone and tears raced down my face and my head fell to my hands. I finally believed it.. I finally understood I was going to lose my grandmother in just a short period of time. I took 2 weeks off of camp, and everyone was so supportive. LOVE everyone there. I finished out the week because they had already assigned me campers and I couldn't do that to them. So 2 days after hearing the news I worked an entire week of camp.. had the sweetest campers and that helped me forget about the heartbreak I was experiencing.. little did I know I was going to get the best gift from God! I went home and went straight to my grandma's and my mom met me at the door and told me that Grandma had been given steroids so her speech was completely back. God answered my prayer, as I walked into my grandmas house she was sitting at her piano playing a cheery tune. I had a huge smile on my face, as I still held back my tears. She turned around and gave me the biggest grin! She goes well hello! I am feeling so good today! It's been many years since I have seen her this giddy! Sadly, it took her having a brain tumor to get her back up there, but I will take it I suppose. We went back for a 2nd opinion and she decided to get a biopsy done.. and then the doctor gave her the decision between hospice care taking over now and or trying chemo and radiation. She picked chemo.. She really wants to see these little boys! Which I am exuberant about because I want her to see them more than anything! She may be sick and miserable by the time they are born but at least she will be able to see there little faces. I pray everyday and night for her.. and I have prayed for myself.. and its worked. I asked God to help me understand it all and accept it and live on. I have come to terms with eventually having to say goodbye to her, and to be happy with her until the very end. Life on earth eventually comes to and end, and I can't be upset because we really do go to a much more amazing place. I can't wait to meet her up there some day and talk about my life after her death. My wedding, my children, my husband, my career, what goals I reached in life. I trust God, and know things happen for a reason and that he is going to take such good care of her until I meet her again. But for now I am going to enjoy her and make her proud of me. I love my Grandma Irene. =)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
life as of now =)
Hello =) A lot has happened since my last blog! A lot of awesome things! 1st off I have had a few people message me with feedback on my blogs and how they have helped them out, and you have no idea how much that makes me smile. No better feeling than seeing someone take in your words and jump starting them to change their lives! AWESOMEEE =)
Okay, so I went to training week for the Special needs camp I will be work at during July and half of August. Amazing isn't even the word to describe it. This camp has the most dedicated staff I have ever seen. They literally train us on everything and anything we will have to do at this camp, down the small details. They pay for everything we are required to have if we are employed there, BCI checks, First Aid and CPR training. Not to mention all the counselors I will be working with are all just awesome people. I love meeting people that I would never go up to, but when you are basically forced to interact with people who you think are similar to you, you begin to realize you have a lot of similar qualities and you end up gaining a friendship you never thought you would have! I cannot begin to tell you how privileged I feel to be working there, and cannot wait for a life changing experience with sweet people! We had a camper talk to the entire staff and he called the camp his heaven until he reaches the real deal. This man had the most sincere voice I have ever heard, and made me, ME someone who hates crying in front of others, have tears streaming down my face. He praised this camp as a haven and that he loves being there. He stated that he felt safe there, and that he would love to be there everyday if he could until the Lord calls out his name to take him home. That is where he got me, this man was in his 50's and said he had been coming to this very camp for 30 years. They must be doing something right if someone keeps coming back repetitively like that. I loved him, and had to meet him after the Q & A session, we talked baseball and other things and he was so precious. He reminded me of my Great Grandpa Bill, he had a soft sweet voice, and just had a positive outlook on life. Oh I am just tearin' up thinking about him! I just love people like that, always being thankful for everything they have been given and always positive on what is going to become of their life, or not become! Can you tell I am getting overly excited? If you would of asked me 5 years ago if I would want to give away 6 weeks of my summer to work at a camp rather than lay out and spend time with my friends..I would of laughed and said heck no, but I don't see how someone could say that now. This place is going to physically and emotionally challenge me, but it couldn't be happening in the most perfect time in my life. =)
So here is some other news, I know I stated in my last blog that I would be moving back to Lima after next year. Well.. changed my mind. I did a lot of praying and thinking.. and more praying.. and a tad bit more thinking. I feel as if Columbus is just the right fit for me right now, I was blessed with a job that enabled me to pay bills and then some by myself and Columbus opened my life to so many opportunities, this camp being one of them. So to live their for 2 years and watching my life prosper and my spirituality grow, would just be a waste if I came back to Lima. It doesn't motivate me here, I love seeing my family and friends. But even though I am very young to be saying all these things, but something is telling me to take life into my own hands. To cut off all the strings from my parents financially and just take care of myself. I want to start my life and start saving money, and doing things I want to do. I want to be responsible and be able to sit back and be proud of everything I have worked for. So to all my friends who were excited about my return, I apologize deeply! I will still only be an hour and a half away =) I just felt like God was telling me to keep my feet in Columbus, had some deep stuff with him last week. Which reminds me something I have been wanting to blog about!!! (Can you tell I think I have ADHD? My blogs are so random!)
A prayer journal!!! I have blogged about the book "One Simple Act." Awesome book, PLEASE READ IT! The Author explains the power of generosity and simple things you can do to feel the spirit work within you, and outside of you. She mentions a prayer journal in one of her chapters and says every night or at least when you are deep in prayer to jot down some of your prayers. Then months later, or however long or short you want it to be, you go back and mark your answered prayers with a different colored pen! So you can see all the prayers God has answered and you can physically see that he does answer prayers! Yes, you will have plenty unmarked prayers, but it doesn't mean he is never going to answer then. Not all prayers are answered immediately, some may take years, decades to answer. But he eventually gets to them all, or leads you on a different path to whatever the subject is of your prayer, I just thought that was a simple little thing to remind us of his power! She explains it much more deep, I really do recommend her book it opens your eyes to a lot of different things! Loved it!
Alright I am overly tired, so you all have a great night and almost weekend! I start camp this upcoming Monday so I probably won't blog for awhile! I definitely will if something huge happens and I have the urge to write! That is usually when I blog, I just get this feeling that I have to blog about something and end up doing it! So feel free to message me about anything, I love to answer all sorts of questions! I'm always open to listen!
God Bless!
Andrea Farell <3
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Faith.
I feel so bad I haven't been writing on this much. I have so many people asking me to write blogs all the time. Sorry for being a let down! Does make me smile that these help so many people! (Even though some may be just venting!) Thank you for reading these, much appreciated!
Yes, its 3:30 in the morning right now.. I worked tonight. Had a rough night with testy people. But overall not such a bad night, just a flew glitches in the process! I brought my Dad some wings to his work, he is working the night shift this week from 11pm to 730! I feel bad for him cause he works by himself taking care of an entire water treatment plant! So I actually just got home from spending time with him. I never really get the time to do anything like that, it was nice. My Dad and I talked about his job and what it all entails, and it seemed like he was really interested in telling me what all he has to do. I'm glad I got the chance to sit in their and do that! That place is so interesting believe it or not! I was walking through the entire place! Go check it out when you get the chance, dorky I know, but it's a cool place to check out! My Dad and I actually talked about life tonight, very weird. He's not much of a talker, more of a watch and observe kind of guy. Never thought I'd get the chance to relate to my dad. I never realized how much a like I am to him! So glad I decided to go there tonight! My dad can be pretty cool sometimes, I guess. ;);)
Big update on my life here....
As most of you know I moved to Columbus with the intentions on receiving my Intervention Specialist license (Special Ed Teacher) at OSU. Well, plans have change and I will be back in Lima next summer. I am going to switch to Gen Ed, Early Education and then later on receive my Special Education degree. So hopefully, if everything goes my way I will be double licensed. It will awesome to have both sides of the spectrum, but I am sad that I won't be getting my special education one right away. I was definitely bummed out when I realized that I had to make this choice. I worked my butt of this year, and had one of the best grades in my Intro class. But life goes on. I am so grateful for getting the chance to live in Columbus for 2 years and get the actual college experience. I am going to live there this year and takes classes at OSU, since I had already signed a lease for an apartment with friends that I care dearly about. But after that, due to financial situations (me not wanting to take out an unneeded loan) will be moving back to Lima to finish out college! But, I will hopefully not be moving back in with my parents. Love them to death, but I could never come back and actually live there. I love being independent, and actually my life felt more organized that way. Having my apartment the way I want it to be was nice!
The point I am trying to make here, is that sometimes things won't go your way. I am not going to lie, I've been pretty torn up about not continuing with Special Ed. But I will be there someday, don't you worry! I am putting my complete faith in God, and knowing that he has a purpose for me in life. I know I will never have everything I want in life. Life wouldn't be interesting or purposeful if we were given everything.
I've had two big dreams since I've been little. I'll explain them both, so be ready for this to be long!
My 1st dream is Music. The ultimate thing that keeps me sane is being able to sing. I'm different, I know it. So with everyone's different judgments on my personality. I know they won't be able to take away my ability to sing. You can take away my pride, my good mood, my spunkieness (not a word haha), but you can't take away my voice. (Obviously you physically can, but whatever, you know what I mean.) I've always been the dramatic friend, the performer. So obviously being successful at a career in singing would be a dream. But also, I do not know if I would want all the fame and fortune. My dad said something to me about how I wouldn't be making much money being a teacher, and my response was I didn't really care about living on the high end of life. Being mediocre was okay for me, some people think I am high maintenance and to an extent I am. But come look at my closet, and add up all my new clothes compared to old clothes I have. I have wayyy more old clothes than new clothes. Some things I still own from 9th grade! I drive a 1998 sunfire, and barely by super name brand stuff! So living that way is good enough for me! So yes, I'd love to make singing a career.
My 2nd dream is to change the world with children. Everyone knows I am such a huge lover, oh if I could own daycare I'd love it. But for underprivileged children, they are the most interesting type there is. If I could choose one thing right now, that I would drop everything for.. I would do all of that to move to Africa and be a missionary there. Those infomercials they have of those children over there make me cry every time I watch them. If only the entire world could have a big heart for kids like this. How can it not break your heart seeing the people suffering over there, and questioning the works of God because of the condition. I am sure some of these people have strong faith. But you have to admit if you think of yourself in their shoes what kind of emotional roller coaster these people experience on a daily basis. Some people I know personally question their faith when something negative goes wrong in their life. As if God is supposed to make everything perfect in your life, and when it doesn't he should be questioned. I'm sure I have previously questioned things, but there comes a point in your life where you have to put your absolute faith in him, and know that he is up to amazing things! I can't even fathom all of the things he does for others. Even people living in conditions like those of 3rd world countries. Changing their frown for even 1 week would be a blessing for me, knowing that I could make their life happy when they had been devastated would be so rewarding.
Okay, I am getting to sappy and personal with this blog. By the way, one of my friend's posted a blog of her experience during her child's delivery and I thought it was so cool what she kept telling herself when she was in unbearable pain, and works with whatever situation you may be in. 2 simple sayings..
1. This too, shall pass.
2. Be still and know that I am God.
I am just going to end this blog with those, how powerful are those. So glad I read that!
Seriously, message me on facebook if you ever have any questions. I love listening, and giving advice! Even if you just need someone to talk to and vent! I am your girl!
Hope you all have a wonderful week!
God Bless!
-- Andrea Farell <3
DISCLAIMER: These are solely my opinions on life, and are not supposed to be taken as the exact truth but just as a view.
Yes, its 3:30 in the morning right now.. I worked tonight. Had a rough night with testy people. But overall not such a bad night, just a flew glitches in the process! I brought my Dad some wings to his work, he is working the night shift this week from 11pm to 730! I feel bad for him cause he works by himself taking care of an entire water treatment plant! So I actually just got home from spending time with him. I never really get the time to do anything like that, it was nice. My Dad and I talked about his job and what it all entails, and it seemed like he was really interested in telling me what all he has to do. I'm glad I got the chance to sit in their and do that! That place is so interesting believe it or not! I was walking through the entire place! Go check it out when you get the chance, dorky I know, but it's a cool place to check out! My Dad and I actually talked about life tonight, very weird. He's not much of a talker, more of a watch and observe kind of guy. Never thought I'd get the chance to relate to my dad. I never realized how much a like I am to him! So glad I decided to go there tonight! My dad can be pretty cool sometimes, I guess. ;);)
Big update on my life here....
As most of you know I moved to Columbus with the intentions on receiving my Intervention Specialist license (Special Ed Teacher) at OSU. Well, plans have change and I will be back in Lima next summer. I am going to switch to Gen Ed, Early Education and then later on receive my Special Education degree. So hopefully, if everything goes my way I will be double licensed. It will awesome to have both sides of the spectrum, but I am sad that I won't be getting my special education one right away. I was definitely bummed out when I realized that I had to make this choice. I worked my butt of this year, and had one of the best grades in my Intro class. But life goes on. I am so grateful for getting the chance to live in Columbus for 2 years and get the actual college experience. I am going to live there this year and takes classes at OSU, since I had already signed a lease for an apartment with friends that I care dearly about. But after that, due to financial situations (me not wanting to take out an unneeded loan) will be moving back to Lima to finish out college! But, I will hopefully not be moving back in with my parents. Love them to death, but I could never come back and actually live there. I love being independent, and actually my life felt more organized that way. Having my apartment the way I want it to be was nice!
The point I am trying to make here, is that sometimes things won't go your way. I am not going to lie, I've been pretty torn up about not continuing with Special Ed. But I will be there someday, don't you worry! I am putting my complete faith in God, and knowing that he has a purpose for me in life. I know I will never have everything I want in life. Life wouldn't be interesting or purposeful if we were given everything.
I've had two big dreams since I've been little. I'll explain them both, so be ready for this to be long!
My 1st dream is Music. The ultimate thing that keeps me sane is being able to sing. I'm different, I know it. So with everyone's different judgments on my personality. I know they won't be able to take away my ability to sing. You can take away my pride, my good mood, my spunkieness (not a word haha), but you can't take away my voice. (Obviously you physically can, but whatever, you know what I mean.) I've always been the dramatic friend, the performer. So obviously being successful at a career in singing would be a dream. But also, I do not know if I would want all the fame and fortune. My dad said something to me about how I wouldn't be making much money being a teacher, and my response was I didn't really care about living on the high end of life. Being mediocre was okay for me, some people think I am high maintenance and to an extent I am. But come look at my closet, and add up all my new clothes compared to old clothes I have. I have wayyy more old clothes than new clothes. Some things I still own from 9th grade! I drive a 1998 sunfire, and barely by super name brand stuff! So living that way is good enough for me! So yes, I'd love to make singing a career.
My 2nd dream is to change the world with children. Everyone knows I am such a huge lover, oh if I could own daycare I'd love it. But for underprivileged children, they are the most interesting type there is. If I could choose one thing right now, that I would drop everything for.. I would do all of that to move to Africa and be a missionary there. Those infomercials they have of those children over there make me cry every time I watch them. If only the entire world could have a big heart for kids like this. How can it not break your heart seeing the people suffering over there, and questioning the works of God because of the condition. I am sure some of these people have strong faith. But you have to admit if you think of yourself in their shoes what kind of emotional roller coaster these people experience on a daily basis. Some people I know personally question their faith when something negative goes wrong in their life. As if God is supposed to make everything perfect in your life, and when it doesn't he should be questioned. I'm sure I have previously questioned things, but there comes a point in your life where you have to put your absolute faith in him, and know that he is up to amazing things! I can't even fathom all of the things he does for others. Even people living in conditions like those of 3rd world countries. Changing their frown for even 1 week would be a blessing for me, knowing that I could make their life happy when they had been devastated would be so rewarding.
Okay, I am getting to sappy and personal with this blog. By the way, one of my friend's posted a blog of her experience during her child's delivery and I thought it was so cool what she kept telling herself when she was in unbearable pain, and works with whatever situation you may be in. 2 simple sayings..
1. This too, shall pass.
2. Be still and know that I am God.
I am just going to end this blog with those, how powerful are those. So glad I read that!
Seriously, message me on facebook if you ever have any questions. I love listening, and giving advice! Even if you just need someone to talk to and vent! I am your girl!
Hope you all have a wonderful week!
God Bless!
-- Andrea Farell <3
DISCLAIMER: These are solely my opinions on life, and are not supposed to be taken as the exact truth but just as a view.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
It's been awhile..
Hello all!
It has been well over a month since I have post anything on here, and I apologize. Many of you have messaged me and have asked why I haven't posted anything. Answer is every time I get the inspiration to write one, I have something for school or have to work. Then when I end up getting time I totally forget about what it was I wanted to write. This blog will probably start out as a big mess of nothing and blabbing, but I will eventually get onto a topic! haha
Let's start with my life this past month.. been somewhat of a roller coaster! I had my 1st respite for Recreation Unlimited! I had very limited sleep that week due to some traumatic events that forced me to be back and forth in between Lima and Columbus, also had a final and a paper due that week. So I arrived at that camp without a nap that day.. and within the previous 3 days a total number of 10 hours slept. By Saturday night I was absolutely exhausted, and running a fever. But I brought it down later that night, thank gosh. I was miserable! Butttt.. would never trade that experience for the world! Got really close to some of the campers, very interesting people to say the least, and all they are looking for is someone to listen and someone who cares to listen! Never thought I could fall in love with these people in just over 3 days, sad to see some of them go, but will get to see some of these adults during the summer residential camps! Everyone there is lovely, met 3 new girls who I instantly clicked with of course, I can be friends with anyone I suppose! I love all these new opportunities I am getting to experience! Yay! =)
On a sad note, the traumatic event that I was previously talking, which most of you could probably guess.. is the death's of Kody Knight and Bryan Taylor. Now personally I was never close to any of them, got to spend a handful of my summer with Kody, and just genuinely enjoyed his presence and of course his sweet girlfriend. But what made it so traumatic was that my Best Friend Brittany, was extremely close to Kody.. Always hearing her tell me hilarious stories about him and then finally get to hang out with him. He sure was a trip, and also the Knight family has been so helpful to my cousin Becky Mitchell, while she was and still is suffering from an incurable yet somewhat treatable form of cancer. I think anyone who even knew or was acquainted with these two felt some sort of sadness. It's hard to describe the feeling of someone who is around your age dying before they even got to start their career. Brittany and I were just talking about how much fun we had with Kody and his other friends and how much we couldn't wait for more things we could get into with them! My heart sank to my stomach when I got onto Facebook and read all of the condolences on everyone's status. I instantly called Brittany, and wasn't able to make out anything she was saying. My heart broke for her, had no idea what to do or to say. I was coming home that exact day to hang out with her.. it was supposed to be a beautiful day, we planned on riding our four-wheelers. But it ended up being a rainy depressing day where I just had to sit and comfort one of my best friends, and grasp the reality of what I was feeling. I texted all of my friends, and told them how much they meant to me, and till this day I will randomly shoot a text or write on their wall on how much I love and appreciate them. So cliche, but true.. you never ever realize how precious something is to you until its taken away. But my favorite belief is that God does everything for a reason.. it was time for those 2 guys to go home! Both of the funerals were tear jerkers. Kody's was such a different feeling funeral, I have never been so connected with God than I was during that funeral. It was a praise session, and many people accepted the Lord into their hearts for the very 1st time in honor of Kody. Almost positive he had a huge smile on his face with a tear rolling down his cheek during that moment! I am typically one to never cry in front of people, but I could not hold back those tears.. so glad that made his funeral that way. He wouldn't of wanted it any other way! ahhh!! I could go on and on about that feeling!
Another recent thing going on in my life, is my Grandfather is in the hospital. We aren't sure of what it is just yet, but he hemoglobin count is severely low and he had a rash all over his body. The doctor's think its this new heart medicine he is on, but they are conducting tests on him now to figure out what is going on. I used to be devastated when I would get the call that he was back in the hospital. But there has been so many close calls with him, I have become numb to them. In a way, I thank god for doing that for me. I put myself into a severe depression the 1st time I thought I was going to have to say goodbye to him. I had never lost anyone that close to me, and thinking he was going to be gone was the worst case scenario for me. But now that I see that he has suffered so many years, I'll be content when he passes. Not only that I know that he isn't suffering, but that God now has the most amazing man in my life in his presence, and that I will get to see him again soon. I feel so bad for my Grandpa that he has to live the way he does, 1/4 of his heart working, amputated leg, difficulty breathing. But he never changes, he always jokes around (even thought most of the time hes a butthead), he always gives me kisses and hugs, always asks about me when I am gone. Which I am very arrogant to say that I am his favorite grandchild =) His faces lights up when I dramatically enter the room =) of course I do it dramatically haha, he laughs every time I do it! Boy do I love this man though!
Didn't really get much onto a topic here, just a general summary of what has been going on with me during this past month. I promise promise promise, next week after finals I will have a motivational blog on here!! Take my word for it!! I do have a lot to write about yet! I just need to get my butt into bed, so I can start to study for finals!
Until next week!
God Bless,
Andrea Farell <3
It has been well over a month since I have post anything on here, and I apologize. Many of you have messaged me and have asked why I haven't posted anything. Answer is every time I get the inspiration to write one, I have something for school or have to work. Then when I end up getting time I totally forget about what it was I wanted to write. This blog will probably start out as a big mess of nothing and blabbing, but I will eventually get onto a topic! haha
Let's start with my life this past month.. been somewhat of a roller coaster! I had my 1st respite for Recreation Unlimited! I had very limited sleep that week due to some traumatic events that forced me to be back and forth in between Lima and Columbus, also had a final and a paper due that week. So I arrived at that camp without a nap that day.. and within the previous 3 days a total number of 10 hours slept. By Saturday night I was absolutely exhausted, and running a fever. But I brought it down later that night, thank gosh. I was miserable! Butttt.. would never trade that experience for the world! Got really close to some of the campers, very interesting people to say the least, and all they are looking for is someone to listen and someone who cares to listen! Never thought I could fall in love with these people in just over 3 days, sad to see some of them go, but will get to see some of these adults during the summer residential camps! Everyone there is lovely, met 3 new girls who I instantly clicked with of course, I can be friends with anyone I suppose! I love all these new opportunities I am getting to experience! Yay! =)
On a sad note, the traumatic event that I was previously talking, which most of you could probably guess.. is the death's of Kody Knight and Bryan Taylor. Now personally I was never close to any of them, got to spend a handful of my summer with Kody, and just genuinely enjoyed his presence and of course his sweet girlfriend. But what made it so traumatic was that my Best Friend Brittany, was extremely close to Kody.. Always hearing her tell me hilarious stories about him and then finally get to hang out with him. He sure was a trip, and also the Knight family has been so helpful to my cousin Becky Mitchell, while she was and still is suffering from an incurable yet somewhat treatable form of cancer. I think anyone who even knew or was acquainted with these two felt some sort of sadness. It's hard to describe the feeling of someone who is around your age dying before they even got to start their career. Brittany and I were just talking about how much fun we had with Kody and his other friends and how much we couldn't wait for more things we could get into with them! My heart sank to my stomach when I got onto Facebook and read all of the condolences on everyone's status. I instantly called Brittany, and wasn't able to make out anything she was saying. My heart broke for her, had no idea what to do or to say. I was coming home that exact day to hang out with her.. it was supposed to be a beautiful day, we planned on riding our four-wheelers. But it ended up being a rainy depressing day where I just had to sit and comfort one of my best friends, and grasp the reality of what I was feeling. I texted all of my friends, and told them how much they meant to me, and till this day I will randomly shoot a text or write on their wall on how much I love and appreciate them. So cliche, but true.. you never ever realize how precious something is to you until its taken away. But my favorite belief is that God does everything for a reason.. it was time for those 2 guys to go home! Both of the funerals were tear jerkers. Kody's was such a different feeling funeral, I have never been so connected with God than I was during that funeral. It was a praise session, and many people accepted the Lord into their hearts for the very 1st time in honor of Kody. Almost positive he had a huge smile on his face with a tear rolling down his cheek during that moment! I am typically one to never cry in front of people, but I could not hold back those tears.. so glad that made his funeral that way. He wouldn't of wanted it any other way! ahhh!! I could go on and on about that feeling!
Another recent thing going on in my life, is my Grandfather is in the hospital. We aren't sure of what it is just yet, but he hemoglobin count is severely low and he had a rash all over his body. The doctor's think its this new heart medicine he is on, but they are conducting tests on him now to figure out what is going on. I used to be devastated when I would get the call that he was back in the hospital. But there has been so many close calls with him, I have become numb to them. In a way, I thank god for doing that for me. I put myself into a severe depression the 1st time I thought I was going to have to say goodbye to him. I had never lost anyone that close to me, and thinking he was going to be gone was the worst case scenario for me. But now that I see that he has suffered so many years, I'll be content when he passes. Not only that I know that he isn't suffering, but that God now has the most amazing man in my life in his presence, and that I will get to see him again soon. I feel so bad for my Grandpa that he has to live the way he does, 1/4 of his heart working, amputated leg, difficulty breathing. But he never changes, he always jokes around (even thought most of the time hes a butthead), he always gives me kisses and hugs, always asks about me when I am gone. Which I am very arrogant to say that I am his favorite grandchild =) His faces lights up when I dramatically enter the room =) of course I do it dramatically haha, he laughs every time I do it! Boy do I love this man though!
Didn't really get much onto a topic here, just a general summary of what has been going on with me during this past month. I promise promise promise, next week after finals I will have a motivational blog on here!! Take my word for it!! I do have a lot to write about yet! I just need to get my butt into bed, so I can start to study for finals!
Until next week!
God Bless,
Andrea Farell <3
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